I don't know, you might have to actually use ExternalInterface or something like that to get the job done. And if it's not terribly important to work the player into your web layout, i would just implement the whole thing in the flash movie.
It could work if you would insert the swf into a div, or whatever, that's "too big" for it in the first place, and then just try and resize it. What are you using to embed the swf, the basic thingie offered by the Flash IDE or something else, like swfobject?
To my knowledge you can't do that. I can't actually fiddle around with it, 'cause i currently don't have access to flash.